Coaching is often described as a client-led, non-directive process where the coach’s primary role is to hold space for exploration, insight, and growth. Yet, as much as we strive to let the client take the lead, the reality is that influence—subtle or overt—is an inevitable part of coaching.
Coaches influence their clients through the questions they ask, the topics they highlight, the silences they hold, and even the nonverbal cues they offer. While this influence is not inherently unethical, it carries significant ethical responsibilities. The question is not whether coaches influence their clients but how they do so—and whether that influence aligns with the principles of autonomy, respect, and integrity.
This article explores the ethics of influence in coaching, offering insights into how we, as coaches, can navigate this complex terrain with greater self-awareness and care.
1. Defining Influence in Coaching
Influence in coaching can take many forms, from subtle nudges to more explicit guidance. It’s not inherently problematic—after all, clients seek coaching precisely because they want to be guided through exploration and change. However, influence becomes ethically complex when it shifts from supporting the client’s journey to directing it.
Influence as Unavoidable
Every interaction between coach and client involves influence. For example:
The questions we ask direct the client’s attention to specific areas, shaping their focus.
Our word choice and tone of voice can convey subtle judgments or assumptions.
Nonverbal cues like nodding or silence can signal approval, encouragement, or even discomfort.
Positive vs Negative Influence
When used ethically, influence can empower clients, helping them uncover insights, challenge limiting beliefs, and expand their perspectives. But when influence is unconscious or misaligned, it risks undermining the client’s autonomy, reinforcing biases, or pushing an agenda that doesn’t truly serve the client.
2. Ethical Challenges of Influence
While influence is inevitable, it’s not always neutral. Coaches must navigate several ethical challenges to ensure their influence supports, rather than hinders, the client’s growth.
Power Dynamics
Even in a collaborative relationship, coaches often hold a position of perceived authority. Clients may unconsciously defer to the coach’s opinions or interpretations, prioritising the coach’s perspective over their own inner wisdom.
Agenda vs Exploration
It can be tempting for coaches to steer clients toward outcomes they believe are “best.” This might stem from a desire to help or from the coach’s own biases about success or happiness. However, prioritising the coach’s agenda over the client’s exploration limits the client’s agency and authenticity.
Subtle Biases
Coaches, like all humans, carry cultural, personal, and professional biases that shape how they perceive and respond to clients. These biases can subtly influence the coaching process, shaping what the coach encourages, challenges, or validates.
3. Principles for Ethical Influence in Coaching
Navigating the ethics of influence requires self-awareness, humility, and a commitment to upholding the client’s autonomy. Here are key principles to guide ethical practice:
Honour Client Autonomy
The foundation of ethical coaching is respect for the client’s ability to make their own decisions. Coaches can empower clients by:
- Asking open-ended questions that invite exploration rather than leading answers.
- Encouraging clients to trust their own instincts and insights.
- Avoiding language that assumes a “right” or “wrong” path.
For example, instead of asking, “Don’t you think this is the best choice?” consider: “How does this option align with what matters most to you?”
Practise Epistemic Humility
Epistemic humility—the recognition that the coach’s perspective is not the “truth”—is central to ethical influence.
Coaches must create space for clients to define their own values, goals, and truths, rather than imposing their own beliefs.
Reflect on Your Own Biases
Self-awareness is critical. Coaches should regularly examine their beliefs, assumptions, and values to ensure they’re not unconsciously steering the client.
Supervision or peer coaching can provide valuable opportunities to identify and address blind spots.
Use Transparency as a Tool
When appropriate, coaches can make their influence explicit, inviting the client to reflect on it. For example:
- “I notice I’m drawn to this perspective—how does that sit with you?”
- “I’m wondering if my own enthusiasm for this idea is influencing our conversation. Let’s pause and check in—what feels most true for you?”
Transparency allows the client to consciously evaluate the coach’s input and decide whether it aligns with their authentic self.
5. Commit to Ongoing Ethical Reflection
Ethics in coaching is not a one-time consideration but a continual practice. Coaches should regularly revisit ethical principles, reflect on their actions, and seek feedback to ensure their influence remains aligned with the client’s best interests.
4. The Positive Potential of Ethical Influence
Influence, when used ethically and intentionally, can be a powerful force for good in coaching. It can help clients:
Challenge Limiting Beliefs: By asking questions that disrupt unhelpful thought patterns, coaches can encourage clients to see new possibilities.
Align with Authentic Values: Influence can help clients connect with their core values and aspirations, fostering deeper alignment and meaning.
Model Curiosity and Resilience: Through their presence and responses, coaches can model attitudes that inspire growth and adaptability.
Ethical influence doesn’t diminish the client’s autonomy; it amplifies it, creating a space where the client feels empowered to explore, decide, and act with confidence.
5. Conclusion: Influence as a Shared Responsibility
Influence in coaching is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to compromise ethics. By cultivating self-awareness, practicing humility, and honouring client autonomy, coaches can navigate the ethical complexities of influence with care and integrity.
Ultimately, influence is not about directing the client but about co-creating a space where exploration, growth, and transformation can thrive. It’s a shared responsibility—one that calls on coaches to remain curious, reflective, and committed to empowering the client’s journey.
By embracing the ethics of influence, we honour not only the client’s autonomy but the profound potential of the coaching relationship itself.
