There’s something exhilarating about travelling—the constant movement from one place to another, the adventure of the unknown.
For the last nine months, I have been travelling constantly having given up my home in the UK. I rarely settle long enough to call any place home and I thrive on it.
And yet…
Every time I prepare to leave one destination for the next, I’m hit with a sense of what I call “flyer’s remorse”—a strange mixture of disquiet and regret. I start to question the choice to move on, wondering if I should have stayed longer, explored deeper, or simply held on to the comfort of the familiar.
It’s a strange unsettling feeling but I’m starting to recognise it for what it is. A desire to hang on to the “current known”.
And as soon as I land in my new location, something shifts.
That feeling of regret dissolves, replaced by a sense of openness, joy, and curiosity. There’s a fresh start, a new city to explore, and the excitement of possibilities yet to be discovered.
This cycle, though paradoxical, is deeply embedded in me, and I’ve come to realise that it reflects something far more universal—the human need for both certainty and uncertainty.
The Call of Certainty
Certainty provides a sense of security, stability, and predictability—essential elements for human well-being. When we know what to expect, we feel safe and grounded.
Certainty allows us to plan, build routines, and make decisions with confidence. It gives us a firm foundation to stand on, whether in relationships, careers, or daily life.
For example, knowing that we have a stable job or a consistent home environment can bring peace of mind, enabling us to focus on growth in other areas without the constant worry of disruption.
Certainty also fosters a sense of control. By reducing the unknowns, it allows us to create a structure around which we can navigate life, offering a clearer path forward.
This stability often enhances emotional well-being, as we feel less overwhelmed by the unpredictability of external circumstances.
Certainty Overload
However, too much certainty can also lead to stagnation and complacency.
When life becomes overly predictable, we might stop challenging ourselves or seeking out new experiences. The comfort of certainty can create a “comfort zone” that, while safe, limits growth and personal development.
It can breed a fear of change, where even the smallest disruption to the known can feel destabilising.
Moreover, an over-reliance on certainty can create a false sense of control. In reality, life is dynamic, and no matter how much certainty we try to build, we cannot fully eliminate the unpredictable nature of existence.
When life inevitably brings change, those who rely too heavily on certainty may struggle to adapt, leading to stress, anxiety, or a sense of helplessness.
The Power of Uncertainty
Uncertainty, while often unsettling, is a powerful catalyst for growth, creativity, and exploration. It invites us to step into the unknown and discover new possibilities.
Uncertainty encourages adaptability, pushing us to develop resilience and problem-solving skills. For example, when we take on a new challenge, uncertainty opens the door to experiences that we wouldn’t encounter in a predictable environment.
It sparks curiosity and innovation, allowing us to see life from new perspectives and break free from old patterns.
Embracing uncertainty can also lead to a deeper sense of freedom. When we accept that not everything is within our control, we release the need for constant planning and perfection.
This creates space for spontaneity, allowing life to unfold in ways that may surprise and enrich us. Uncertainty teaches us to trust in our ability to handle whatever comes our way, fostering a sense of self-confidence that isn’t dependent on external circumstances.
Overwhelming Uncertainty
Of course, uncertainty can also be anxiety-inducing.
When we face the unknown, we often feel vulnerable, as the lack of predictability triggers fear of failure, loss, or discomfort. The ambiguity can cause us to doubt our choices, leading to indecision or a paralysing fear of moving forward.
For some, uncertainty can bring a sense of being untethered, as though they are drifting without direction or purpose, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and emotional instability.
The unpredictability of uncertainty also brings the risk of making mistakes or encountering unwanted outcomes. This unpredictability can generate a heightened sense of stress, as it demands constant adaptation and the ability to tolerate ambiguity.
For those who thrive on structure, this aspect of uncertainty can feel particularly challenging, as it asks them to relinquish control and trust in their capacity to navigate an unpredictable world.
The Existential Nature of Certainty and Uncertainty
At a deeper level, this dichotomy between certainty and uncertainty speaks to an existential reality.
Philosophers like Søren Kierkegaard and Jean-Paul Sartre have long explored the tension between our desire for security and the inevitable uncertainty of existence. Certainty gives us a sense of control and purpose, allowing us to navigate life with a coherent narrative. It anchors us in a world that can often feel overwhelming and chaotic.
Yet, existential thinkers remind us that life, by its very nature, is uncertain.
We are constantly confronted with the unknown—be it the future, the meaning of our actions, or the unfolding of our lives. To embrace uncertainty is to accept the freedom and responsibility that come with it.
It’s acknowledging that while we crave stability, true growth and meaning often arise from stepping into the unfamiliar, where we must create our own path.
This existential framework offers a profound perspective on why balancing both certainty and uncertainty is not just a psychological need but a fundamental aspect of the human condition.
Contingency, Uncertainty, and the Power of Choice
Jean-Paul Sartre’s concept of contingency is central to his existential philosophy, particularly as outlined in Being and Nothingness.
For Sartre, contingency refers to the idea that existence is fundamentally without a predetermined essence or purpose. Human beings, and the world around them, exist just because—there is no deeper, necessary reason for why things are the way they are. This lack of inherent meaning or necessity in life is what he describes as “contingency.”
Sartre emphasises that humans are “thrown into” existence without any prior essence or purpose to guide them. In Sartre’s view, human existence precedes essence; we exist first, and only through our choices and actions do we create meaning or purpose for our lives.
This freedom to define ourselves is both exhilarating and anxiety-inducing because it means there are no guarantees—everything we do is contingent.
Since existence itself has no inherent structure, uncertainty is always present. We face a world where nothing is predetermined, and every decision we make is taken without the comfort of certainty.
Whether we embrace it or resist it, uncertainty is there, lingering in the background of all human experience.
However, Sartre’s notion of radical freedom suggests that we are not passive participants in this reality. Through our choices, we can actively engage with uncertainty, shaping it in ways that reflect our desires, values, and aspirations.
For instance, I don’t passively accept the uncertainty of life; I actively create it.
Each time I choose to move to a new place, I invite uncertainty into my life—new surroundings, new people, new possibilities. In doing so, I exert my freedom and shape my experience of contingency, transforming it into something that fuels growth and excitement, rather than something to fear or avoid.
This act of choice becomes a powerful way to embrace the inherent uncertainty of existence. Rather than letting it overwhelm us, we can engage with it creatively, using it as a catalyst for self-discovery and transformation.
By choosing uncertainty—whether through travel, career changes, or personal growth—we exercise our freedom to create meaning in a world that, at its core, offers no guarantees.
The Tug of War Between Certainty and Uncertainty
At its core, this tension between wanting to stay and the desire to move mirrors a fundamental truth about life: we are creatures who crave both security and adventure. Certainty provides comfort, stability, and a sense of safety.
It’s the reason we create routines, build homes, and form long-term relationships. We need to know there’s something solid to rely on, a foundation that grounds us when the world feels too chaotic.
Yet, there’s a part of us that seeks the unpredictable, the unfamiliar—the excitement of uncertainty. It’s what drives innovation, creativity, and growth. When we step into the unknown, we invite new possibilities, fresh perspectives, and experiences that stretch us beyond our comfort zones.
The thrill of not knowing what’s next can be just as life-affirming as the comfort of the known.
But living in this dichotomy isn’t always easy. Just like my travel experiences, where I feel both remorse and exhilaration, many of us oscillate between wanting the security of the familiar and the excitement of the unknown.
And it’s in this space that coaching can be an incredibly powerful tool.
How Coaching Helps Navigate the Dichotomy
Coaching, particularly transformative coaching, offers a space to explore the tension between certainty and uncertainty, guiding clients to embrace both without feeling trapped by either.
This delicate balance is one of the key areas that clients often struggle with, whether they are dealing with career decisions, personal growth, or relationships.
Certainty as a Foundation
Coaching allows clients to build a sense of internal certainty—a grounding within themselves.
This internal foundation becomes the anchor that allows them to feel secure, no matter how uncertain external circumstances may be.
By focusing on core values, beliefs, and strengths, coaching helps individuals cultivate a sense of certainty that isn’t reliant on external factors, but rather on a deeper understanding of who they are.
Embracing Uncertainty
At the same time, transformative coaching encourages clients to step into uncertainty with curiosity rather than fear.
Instead of seeing the unknown as something to be avoided, it becomes an opportunity for growth. Clients learn to trust in their ability to navigate change and to find joy in the process of discovery, much like the openness and excitement I feel each time I land in a new destination.
Navigating the Space Between
Perhaps most importantly, coaching helps individuals navigate the space between certainty and uncertainty. In this middle ground, where discomfort often lies, is the potential for deep transformation.
This is where clients learn to hold both security and openness, recognising that the two are not in opposition but can coexist.
It’s about learning to be present with the discomfort of the unknown while trusting the foundation of the known.
The Dance of Life
In many ways, life itself is a dance between certainty and uncertainty. We need the comfort of the familiar, but we also need the thrill of the new.
Too much certainty can lead to stagnation, while too much uncertainty can leave us feeling lost.
The challenge is not to eliminate one in favour of the other but to learn how to move gracefully between the two—just as I do when I journey from one place to the next, always with a sense of anticipation, tempered by a touch of bittersweetness.
Through coaching, we can help clients learn this dance. We can support them to build a solid foundation that allows them to embrace change with confidence. In doing so, we empower them to step into their next adventure—whether that’s a new career, a life transition, or simply a deeper understanding of themselves—with both certainty and uncertainty held in balance.
And perhaps, like the traveller who finds joy in both leaving and arriving, they will discover that life’s richest experiences are found in the spaces between.
