In this edition of “Journeys in Coaching: Alumni Stories,” we are excited to share the inspiring journey of Stefano Centineo, a transformative coach who has dedicated his career to helping professionals realign their life and discover true fulfilment. Stefano’s unique approach to coaching, grounded in his background as an engineer, emphasises breaking free from societal expectations and reconnecting with one’s authentic self. Through his playful yet profound methods, Stefano guides his clients towards meaningful personal and professional growth.
Join us for an engaging conversation in which we explore his insights, challenges, and the philosophy that drives his impactful work helping professionals to “Pause, reflect and realign”.
Stefano, can you tell us about your style of coaching?
“Growing up, we’re often told what we should study, how to approach a job, how to build a career, and what we should aim for like buying a house, having kids, building a family, and achieving stability. We keep chasing these things, running towards a finish line that keeps moving further and further away. I realised that at some point, things started to contrast with my own views. Do I keep chasing the moving target, or do I pause and ask myself what I want to do? I tried to reframe this thought, take stock of things, to make sure that it still aligns with who I am by asking myself; Is this what I really want to do? Is this what I really want to pursue? I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t want these things, but we need to consciously make this decision.”
“What I do with professionals is invite them to pause and reflect on what they actually want. In my experience, I see many professionals come with very pragmatic topics and challenges that they want to achieve. A lot of the time, they are focused on financial or career achievements and similar goals. After a few coaching sessions, we find out that these were not really the goals they wanted in the first place, more like what they thought they were supposed to want. So, we start to reframe things in a deeper sense. Career is always important for a professional, but you may want to reframe how you approach it. Choosing the shiniest role or the bigger salary is not the target; it’s a means to an end, which are two different things. Through this exploration, everyone gains different insights.”
How did you find your voice as a coach?
“My personal style is a mixture of the right and left brains, as growing up, I was a musician and an engineer. I enjoy getting creative and putting things into practice, as well as following a predefined process. As a coach, I really trust the process. There are many sessions where I have no clue what’s happening in the client’s mind, so I check in every now and then, and they say, ‘this is so useful!’. In contrast, there are other sessions where I try to steer the conversation and keep things a bit more serious, and I think it’s the best session ever, but in the end, they don’t get any insight.
“One of the core principles of coaching is not leading the conversation, and once we let go of the need to feel in control, that’s where playfulness comes in. I like to get playful and ask, ‘If your life was a chord, what chord would it be?’, ‘Would it be a major or minor chord?’, and ‘If it was a melody, how would the melody go?’. It doesn’t have anything to do with the actual issue, but the distraction often works out, and the session is inspiring and great fun! There is absolutely tremendous value in going deep and figuring out the reasons why something is happening, but sometimes taking it lightly and having some fun can be extremely helpful.”
Is there such a thing as a bad question?
“In a word? No. Sometimes, if we overthink a question, it means we’re not in the present moment anymore. Sometimes we have a blank, and that’s fine! That’s where kindness to ourselves comes in. In my experience, it’s sometimes good to let go of the need to respond and simply meet the client where they’re at. If you keep thinking about a particular question, you’re at risk of missing out on all the other things that your client is saying.”
Is overthinking the enemy of good coaching?
“Perfect is the enemy of good, generally speaking. Trying too hard to prove ourselves as a good coach is an easy trap to fall into! The point isn’t to showcase yourself as a good coach, but to support your clients. If you keep the focus on the client, you won’t go far wrong.
“We’re all human, and we all have our issues, problems, challenges, and insecurities—they always get in the way, and they always will! That’s fine. As long as we acknowledge them during our reflective practice and think, ‘Okay, what happened there? Alright, that’s fine.’ You don’t need to let them hold you back. Just acknowledge them, accept it happened, and move forward, aiming to learn from it.”
What led you to coaching?
“I’m very lucky to work for an organisation that develops staff not only from the technical, but from the human perspective, in terms of genuine, adaptive leadership in a collaborative way. I started to mentor junior engineers and realised that their challenges are more about how they perceive themselves, and the world around them. And that got me curious to learn something beyond mentoring, which led me to coaching.”
“I also took several personality tests and the first ideal profession that was highlighted in the results was coaching. That was my (playful) sign. The combination of my interest in going beyond mentoring, and the personality tests, led me to make the decision to train as a coach. I decided to invest on the basis that something good would come of it, and so I went for it!”
What were some of the challenges you encountered in becoming a coach?
“My main challenge was whether I would be able to stick to my choice, and take it with a light heart with me on my journey. Also, comparing myself to others. As much as we like to say that we shouldn’t, deep down we all do it to some extent. I try to compare myself in a more comprehensive way though, i.e. to see what I have and what they don’t as opposed to focusing on what I might be lacking. For example, others might be earning more than me, but perhaps they work a lot more hours than I do, in not such a good working environment, and perhaps it doesn’t resonate with them as much as it truly resonates with me. Coaching is so much more than a day job to me, it’s my passion, it’s my calling.”
What advice would you give to someone considering becoming a coach, Stefano?
“It’s worth exploring if it’s something that feels right for you. Or if you’re not sure it’s for you, but you want to give it a go, there are many resources available to help you make a more informed decision. You can always ask different coaches and see what they tell you. I’ve found that coaches love to support other coaches.”
“If you’re already doing another profession, and you’re facing the fear that comes with doing something new and different, again, there’s more than one approach. I personally decided to go with keeping this as a side hustle, which takes a bit more effort for me, because now I have two jobs. But this allows me to have a job that I still like and pays the bills alongside building my practice.”
“As long as we pause, reflect and realign with who we are, there’s no right or wrong answer. We just need to start with taking time for ourselves and actually understanding what the right way for us is, which may not be the right way for everyone else. As odd as it sounds; if it resonates with you, it just resonates. You just need to follow it. That’s what I think!”
How did you decide to train with Animas, and how was it?
“I did my research, and did a few low-investment courses, and decided to take it a step further. I started to understand the ICF accreditation schemes, came across different courses and found that Animas offered a more comprehensive and holistic approach which really resonated with me.”
“Animas was a good combination of different models and approaches, a good platform, and a good community of which I am now an active member. The course gave me a good understanding of coaching, and paved the way for accreditation with the ICF. Animas gave me the inspiration and motivation to explore the things that resonated even more with me.”
Can you tell us more about the lecture you gave for Animas;’Pause, reflect, realign?’
“Pause, reflect, realign is the starting point for everything, and my invitation to professionals. Our career takes a third of our lives, along with personal life and sleep, so we need to pay attention to it! Something that blends this balance together is something that allows you to realign and reorient to where you want to go. We usually get swamped by the hectic pace of our lives and hardly take the time to check in with ourselves for real. Even when we do take the time, our mind is flooded with thoughts of responsibilities and expectations. We can’t reflect clearly. I suggest that our inner child holds a lot of valuable insights, and our worries and concerns (i.e. our internalised parent) often prevent us from hearing them. A bit of playtime in a coaching session can encourage our inner child to come out, play with us and suggest some of their genuine and authentic insights.”
Where can we find you and how can we contact you?
“I’m on Google as Stefano Centineo Transformative Coach, and on my website and social media; LinkedIn, TikTok and Instagram. You can book a free 30 minute discovery call and drop me a message via the contact form on my website if you are interested in a coaching journey with me or in collaborating for workshops and events. Please do get in touch!”
