The Irony Of Coaching

Author : Nishe Patel

17th November 2018

I joined Animas during the summer of 2016 after I just secured a permanent job that I thought would sustain me for years to come. And on top of that and I was learning to coach, which would undoubtedly support my career! My life was “back on track” and I had nothing to worry about. Yet, something wasn’t quite right. I should have been happy with what I had, but I still felt a little niggle.

The first couple of module weekends went very well. I learnt how to ask questions (yep, I did struggle with this one to start with) and to create the right environment for my client. The third weekend is where things started to really change for me. Several ‘Animites’ mentioned that I would experience a personal transformation as part of the course, however, this isn’t something I saw coming. During the cognitions weekend, I put myself forward for a demo. That ‘niggle’ was making itself known again, and I now had a great opportunity to explore it.

I can’t remember what we actually discussed, but within a few minutes,

“we unexpectedly hit something incredibly raw. There were tears.  It hurt.  It was absolutely needed, and I wouldn’t change that experience for anything. By the end of the weekend, I knew I was going to build a coaching practice.  If this is how powerful something so seemingly simple could be, I wanted to be a part of it”.

For the first time in my life, I sought help. I actually asked if someone would coach me. You probably don’t know me, but that’s a BIG deal, as I consider myself incredibly independent and self-sufficient. I can figure out how to solve pretty much any problem that comes my way. This time I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. I had to trust someone with who I really was.

As we began to work together, I discovered some incredible beliefs about how I should be and the way I should lead my life. They held me back from living the way I wanted. I rarely said what I really thought, always worrying about what people would think of me or how they would knock me down. I rarely shared my feelings, choosing instead to repress them and simply accept situations for what they were. I didn’t believe people actually liked me, so would never want to upset anyone in case they didn’t want to spend time with me. The worst thing about everything I discovered, was not believing that I had any right to feel this way. I had a good life. I never wanted for anything. People around me cared about me. I was respected for the ideas I had and the work I delivered.

Can you hear the contradictions?

Yeah, that’s the joy of coaching, sometimes we just can’t see what’s right in front of us. Those pesky blind spots can hide what’s important. Well, my coach was awesome. She didn’t hold back from sharing what she noticed. Those little nuggets she shared blew my mind. Yes, I cried a few times, but I also got to laugh too. Some of what she shared completely p***ed me off. Mainly because I couldn’t see it for myself. Together we broke down some huge barriers. Friends started to notice the difference, commenting on my openness. I was more relaxed and my resilience grew. An incredible weight had been lifted from me and I now had space to just be me.

The experience of my own transformation feeds how I work with my clients. I recognise the trust they share with me and the privilege of working with them. I’m honest about who I am and create an environment that encourages my clients to do the same.

To find out more about Nishe and what she has to offer,  you can visit her website here.

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Categories: Life as a coach  

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